One Year

One year ago....do you remember what you were doing one year ago today? I do, I was making the biggest transition of my life. This blog post will be from my perspective. Today (one year ago) was moving day! I have thought about this post in my head many times and quite frankly, I have gotten teary eyed just thinking about it. I can't believe it's been a year! It doesn't seem that long to me but my mom says "it feels like it's been longer." One year ago today, I said good-bye to everything, everyone and every place I had ever known, from everything that I thought our life would be, from my comfort zone, from where I thought we would always live and where I thought we would raise our family.

I remember that day so vividly-like it was yesterday. We were staying at my parents because Peter had already made the move to Minnesota. My mom came with us to Minnesota to help the girls and I get settled. The morning we moved, we all got up early, took a few pictures, my dad prayed for us and we all cried together...I sobbed as I drove out of town. I will always remember watching my dad stand in his driveway and wave--he looked so sad. That week leading up to the move was emotional for everyone. We tried our hardest to visit our friends and all of our family members to say "good-bye." I had always (and still do) hate good-bye's-they are so final so my dad has taught me to say "see you later!" I know I have probably talked/written about this more than most people like to hear/read but it was the biggest (and probably still is) turning point in my life. This past year has been a blur of emotions (of trying to survive and making this our home), while also thanking God for this incredible gift and it has also been the most unbelievable learning experience---for all of us!

Like I said before, I can't believe it's been a year! There were days when I didn't think I could make it another minute. To be honest, at times, I lied (during the first few months) about how much I loved our new home. Each day, I would tell myself "I can do this," so I would put a smile on my face and get out of the apartment and try to meet new people (I joined several organizations -some were good and some were a bust), try to get involved and get the girls settled; while deep down I was fighting one of my biggest battles-the UNKNOWN (and some anxiety from all of the changes)!...friends weren't coming as easily as I had hoped, I missed 'home', Harper was having some behavior problems, I had no idea where anything was, I felt like my life was spinning out of control. So, on more than one occasion, I told Peter (this was usually during an argument) that I was leaving-I was going home, I was taking the girls and I would see him when he decided to move back to Tulsa-I never said this to hurt Peter but I said it out of fear and of course, afterward I would feel so guilty because we made the decision (to move) prayerfully together. I have always been a fighter when things got rough but for some reason, I was succumbing to the pressures of the unknown and I was wanting to run-run as fast as I could back to what I thought was my safety net. For some reason something really clicked for me in January-February....all of my fears and anxieties were subsiding and I was adjusting, I was making friends (who really knew me) and I was really starting to get settled in our new life now. For so long I worried about the girls and their transition time but in all actuality they handled it better than Peter and I-they are remarkable and so adaptable, which did make life easier. I also spent a lot of time in prayer-praying for peace, praying for understanding, praying for guidance, praying for friends, and praying for confidence that WE could do this together, as a family. My parents have always said "God doesn't give you more than you can handle!" These words are so ever true.

My best friends' mom talked to me before we moved and she gave me some very wise words..."you have to give it a good 12-18 months before you can make a decision on if you are settled and if it feels like home." I now know and believe this is so true! It has been a year and we are joyfully settled-this has indeed become our home. Our happy home that we believe God has provided for us. I can't imagine being anywhere else. We have a wonderful church, phenomenal friends, a beautiful home, great jobs and a loving family that comes to see us every chance they get.